I Can't Believe I am Still Here (Today)

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, I am truly thankful for myself, my family and my friends for making it though a celebration at my house. It was lovely. The day was warmer than usual, with clear skies for days, allowing everyone to be outside as desired and travel easily through genuinely friendly skies to get here. We had 20 people showing up to be together and the preparations of food, home, and outside were all ready.

With it being so nice, we had two fireplaces set up inside, and the Solostove ready on the outside. There was not going to be any spots where you could not hang by the fire, enjoying the warmth and watching the football games.

As the guests started arriving, I lit the fires, first in the stove outside, so that the kids could hang by the fire after playing football and whiffle ball. The Solostove is smokeless once it gets going, and it creates tremendous heat. If you touch the steel sides when it’s hot, you will certainly and immediately burn your skin. Or your dog will singe any fur off with the slightest brush, and in my case it took the hair off my arm as I was putting in a fresh log. My daughter was very happy to catch a scent of my new cologne, Burning Man. I set the living room fire last after all the guests had arrived. I opened the flue and she lit right up. Strangely a little heat was coming out of the top front, making me think that the flue may not have been all the way open, but there was no visible smoke…until about an hour later, when the the living room vaulted ceilings filled with haze and made the room seem much bigger, because you couldn’t see across clearly. And yet there was no visible smoke coming from the fireplace. So even after I opened the windows to the 30 degree breeze outside, the room and its inhabitants smelled like they had just taken a nap in our new Traeger smoker.

Dinner was great, and it was my job to manage the turkey cooking by inserting the thermometer hopefully in the right place. Siri said it should go into the thigh, which I think I hit it in the right spot. Not to be crass, but the talk of breasts and thighs got me all confused. It got up to 173 degrees, and while I was carving, everything looked to be cooked well.

After everyone had their fill of the main dishes, we finally got to my favorite part, the dessert. My wife had made a few pumpkin pies, and our friend had brought some apple pies, which needed an hour (?!?) to cook. Needless to say, I ate a couple of pieces of pumpkin and only later, when everyone was raving about the apple pies, did I also partake in those. By 10 o’clock or a little after, I was very full and the guests had gone home. Now we could enjoy some “big meal syndrome” and watch some tv. Everything was great. Or was it?

As usual, I woke up in the middle of the night, as I have written here before, but this time I realized that a silent killer might be lurking in the house. All of that smoke from the living room London fog contained carbon monoxide, right? None of our alarms went off, but who knows if those things really work. When the fire was finally out, I noticed that the flue was not in its complete and open setting. The rest of the family now could be sleeping peacefully and just keep on sleeping…forever! F*ck! I did this. I’ve been lighting fires for a long time, and to make this rookie mistake could be my worst. Am I breathing okay? I mean the house smells like a smokey lodge, but that’s nice, right? Maybe a trip to the bathroom will clear my mind.

Upon returning, I felt better. It’s funny because I notice that my internal alarm bells are quieting down if I think of something else. As I got in bed, I was not thinking of the fiery smoke smell as much. Instead, as my stomach rumbled a few times, I thought maybe that the turkey was not cooked well enough. I do remember pulling that bird apart and wondering if it really felt cooked through. The little red thermometer that comes already in the breast never did pop up. I didn’t say anything, but I noticed. Let’s see it was about 2 in the morning, and we ate at 7pm, so I figured if the salmonella was going to kill us, it would have struck by 11pm, right? Yeah, I was just making things up. Everything would be fine.

Earlier this week, I had a meeting with a registered dietitian. It was so helpful to know what are the best food to eat, that would positively affect my blood panels and keep me in good health. Well, what I had for dinner tonight broke most, if not all, of the rules. The butter, lard, saturated fat and processed flours are certainly getting stuck in my system. And those last couple extra pieces of apple pie – way too much added sugars. I know I must be spiking now.

If it wasn’t for the smoke, I would be worried about the undercooked food, which was probably only overshadowed by my diabetic coma. This is great. Finally I have figured out that Thanksgiving happens to remind us of the love and blessings in our lives, but also for the gratitude of just making it though this day and night of gluttony, and to be most thankful that this holiday won’t come around for another year.

GPV